Faded bloom.....

 

Hello everyone , welcome back !

I am at the verge of my life where I stopped being courageous, stopped dreaming and became conscious overly about every trivial thing. Apparently I stopped appreciating small victories and and became more pessimistic....the only thing I noticed was my flaws ; they would scream at me 

"YOU WILL NEVER MAKE IT" 

At some point I was scared and from what I can tell, I believed it. unknowingly "I gave up" 

As the days passed, I found myself merely surviving, never truly living. Everything felt wasted the degree I was pursuing, the hard work I did in past it seemed meaningless. The feeling of inferiority grew into a complex. 

That's how I went from being a radiant, lively spirit to a withered, faded soul................

As a child, I never truly explored anything; I limited myself to studies and, in doing so, created a barrier around myself where no one was allowed. I controlled my happiness by restricting myself. Aside from my studies, I never really allowed myself the time to enjoy or explore hobbies so as results I never really understood what hobbies meant. So as I grew up and entered into my 20's without any special interest and apparently that barrier shattered it was uncomfortable, strange as I never really experienced them, that's where the real problem began , everything was complicated as if i was not capable of dealing with it, the only thing which I was most proud of(studies) suddenly meant nothing as if everything collapsed.

I became vulnerable, my self-esteem shattered, and for a moment, I wanted to give up. But deep inside, something refused to let me quit. I knew then that 

"THE SHOW MUST GO ON, AND I HAD TO KEEP LIVING MY LIFE" even though it seemed I was about to quit

These days feel like the weirdest of my life. I’m uncertain about everything, as if I were standing in the center of thick clouds .It was lonely .It may seem as if am exaggerating but it is what it is...

I gues that's it for faded bloom stay tuned for upcoming parts

see you👀❤