life

L I F E

As a child, I had a different perspective on life—everything was sorted, except for studies. Anything outside of academics felt like a waste of time. Even writing this blog would have seemed pointless back then. But as an adult, I see life from a completely different perspective

As a 21-year-old adult, every day brings something new to experience. Sometimes it's a wave of sadness that I just want to pass quickly, and other times it's a wholesome, happy moment that I wish I could hold onto forever—but I can't. Somehow, they always vanish.

I used to hate gloomy weather. Every drop of rain used to get on my nerves. But I was so busy hating it that I never realized when I started to fall in love with it. Now, it gives me a strange kind of comfort.

I feel like life is such a beautiful opportunity—to experience things, to grow as a human being, to carve out our soul—that it would be such a waste to give up on it.

I've always feared change. It made me uncomfortable, as if it were the end of the world. But now, I’m okay with it. I'm trying my best to normalize it and move on to the next day. Maybe being too uncomfortable or getting freaked out was what was making me tired—or maybe it was something else. I don’t really know what it was, but somehow, I changed—gradually. 

I know there’s still a long way to go, this shift means a lot to me. And even though I’m still trying to figure out the deepest secrets of life, I’m glad that I’m changing. I’ve made it this far—at least that’s better than freaking out and making a fool out of myself.

Yeah, I know I’ve been talking a lot about this ‘change’—you might be a little annoyed by it, but this transformation feels personal. It deserves space, even it it's messy 

 I know life won’t always feel as poetic as it does while writing this blog, but I’ll try to make it just as beautiful in reality.

So if you’re reading this and feeling lost—just know, you’re not alone. We’re all figuring it out

Until next time… keep growing, keep glowing.

self love

it's been a while since I wrote something.

self-love — that's something strange to me. honestly, I don't know much about it. I am not drawing any conclusion about this, I am just here sharing my thoughts that I have realized lately.

as for me, maybe it's something like standing up for yourself, taking care of yourself, giving yourself a warm hug and saying it's alright to be this way, wiping your own tears and consoling yourself when no one does.

I grew up in a house full of people, so it was natural for me to neglect my feelings. I was always busy doing something, so I never had time to think about this. recently, I have read a book in which the female protagonist was far away from the beauty standards set by society. she wasn't all slim and trim — she had curves, etc. but the only eye-catching thing about her was her "CONFIDENCE." she never really cared what others said or thought about her. even though people around her gave tons of suggestions about how to lose weight, and sometimes mocked her, she never really cared. while reading, It gave me goosebumps, and before I knew it, I found myself genuinely admiring her, I was wondering — did I ever think like that? did I ever embrace myself? did I ever say that I love the way I am?

nahh, I don't remember saying anything like that because I never really once patted myself and said, "you did a good job."

Because I thought it wasn’t that important.
But at some point, you will realize that it does matter what you say to yourself

I always humbled myself, saying if I do this, I would be portrayed as an arrogant brat.

Back then, even though I had a loving, supportive family, I couldn’t hold onto their love because I felt like a cracked vessel that couldn’t contain any.

after reading that book, I felt the need for "love" — not from others, but from within me. it was like I have to be there for myself, even against all odds.

this thing is very tough because I am still trying to learn about this.

after realizing this, life has become easier, less complicated, because I have stopped caring about others' opinions. instead, I am focusing more on what I think. this way, life has become more peaceful and calm. I know this will take a lot of time. I hope to be this way in the future. I hope I remember to love myself.

Signing off for now — take care and see you next time! 🌸

Blossom....

 

Hello everyone!

Blossom is a symbolic word for a fresh start or rebirth.

My fresh start wasn't complicated or the result of a sudden realization, it simply emerged from a shift in mindset

So around that phase I felt exhausted by the way I was living. And it felt like I was whining without giving it a shot. I was desperate for a change. So, then and there, I decided to change everything about my lifestyle. I cut down on everything that was distracting me. Although I am still going through that process, those tiny steps were better than I expected. It was refreshing and I was breathing  freely.  

I once read that

 'CHANGING YOUR HABITS CAN LEAD TO A  CHANGE IN  YOUR LIFESTYLE' 

and it couldn’t be more true.

Yes, it was difficult initially, but it was worth it. I was evolving bit by bit every day. I began to view things from a different perspective. Instead of my flaws I started focusing on what I was blessed with, I  never knew I was this privileged. Slowly and steadily everything was getting under control. 

Those tough times made me realize that no one is responsible for your situation. You are solely responsible for your success and failures. 

"IF YOU ARE NOT CHANGING, THEN YOU ARE CHOOSING TO STAY THE SAME"

You will discover that you've been underestimating yourself; you're capable of achieving so much more

It's not that I have completely evolved; I am still growing. But I am a better person than  I was yesterday. It was painful, but it taught me huge lesson of my life and I guess it was necessary.

I hope this doesn't disappoint you guys..

stay tuned for upcoming parts

see you👀❤ 

Faded bloom.....

 

Hello everyone , welcome back !

I am at the verge of my life where I stopped being courageous, stopped dreaming and became conscious overly about every trivial thing. Apparently I stopped appreciating small victories and and became more pessimistic....the only thing I noticed was my flaws ; they would scream at me 

"YOU WILL NEVER MAKE IT" 

At some point I was scared and from what I can tell, I believed it. unknowingly "I gave up" 

As the days passed, I found myself merely surviving, never truly living. Everything felt wasted the degree I was pursuing, the hard work I did in past it seemed meaningless. The feeling of inferiority grew into a complex. 

That's how I went from being a radiant, lively spirit to a withered, faded soul................

As a child, I never truly explored anything; I limited myself to studies and, in doing so, created a barrier around myself where no one was allowed. I controlled my happiness by restricting myself. Aside from my studies, I never really allowed myself the time to enjoy or explore hobbies so as results I never really understood what hobbies meant. So as I grew up and entered into my 20's without any special interest and apparently that barrier shattered it was uncomfortable, strange as I never really experienced them, that's where the real problem began , everything was complicated as if i was not capable of dealing with it, the only thing which I was most proud of(studies) suddenly meant nothing as if everything collapsed.

I became vulnerable, my self-esteem shattered, and for a moment, I wanted to give up. But deep inside, something refused to let me quit. I knew then that 

"THE SHOW MUST GO ON, AND I HAD TO KEEP LIVING MY LIFE" even though it seemed I was about to quit

These days feel like the weirdest of my life. I’m uncertain about everything, as if I were standing in the center of thick clouds .It was lonely .It may seem as if am exaggerating but it is what it is...

I gues that's it for faded bloom stay tuned for upcoming parts

see you👀❤ 

 

BROKEN COURAGE ...

Hello, everyone!

 I’m just a girl who has left her teenage years behind and stepped into adulthood. Basically, I’m in my early 20's,  navigating life while being scared of the future, haunted by the past, and surviving in the present. That’s a bit about me—now, let’s move on to my thoughts.

Lately, I’ve been realizing a lot of things about life. My perspective has changed, my interests have shifted, and my habits have evolved. This 20-year journey has been a dynamic one—discovering new things, meeting new people, and facing new challenges.

For a long time, I believed life was unfair to me. I used to blame others for my circumstances and run away from everything. Each day, I came up with new excuses for not taking action. But in reality, I was just being lazy and avoiding accountability. Over time, this behaviour turned into a habit because it was easy.

     As the days went by, I started feeling like something was off. Without even realizing it, these habits became my toxic traits, leading to consequences like procrastination, anxiety, and, eventually, a loss of confidence.

At one point, I completely lost hope and faith in myself. I doubted whether I could ever become someone or achieve anything. That’s how I ended up being a coward with broken courage.

But don’t worry, my story takes a positive turn

When I was younger, I wasn’t clear about what I wanted to be in the future. However, I was confident enough to believe that I would become something. I had the courage to dream. But life is unpredictable, and we never know what’s waiting for us.

A wise man once said, “We have to go through something to truly understand whether it’s good or bad.”

For a while, I was stuck in that phase. I tried many things, but nothing seemed to work. Everything slipped through my fingers. Eventually, I stopped working hard and started making impulsive decisions.

Then, one day, something hit me hard—completely unexpectedly—and I finally realized my mistakes. But what exactly happened? I’ll reveal more in my upcoming blog

Stay tuned! See you soon!❤👀